Portrait of Her Before

Before the knees went,

the long trips into silence winding down like a toy,

and the years rattling like pills in that beige house;

before the miscarriage, the affair,

the porchful of stray kittens

that tumbled toward the graves

of all those Gettysburg men:

this was her.

You’d think the her before all that

would be happy, scarless

and new as an egg. At home

in a garden bed, face shining with effort.

At a window with the green sea beyond,

turning to greet someone

who just entered the room. Her

caught in some moment of lightness–

about to laugh, to eat a plum,

to brush away a tendril of auburn

as she bends to the page of a book.

But this her

will have none of it, lips pressed thin

as the cut stem of daffodil she holds in her hands like a knife.

Thousands more ochre the fields behind her,

calling out in a chorus: she knows.

Erin Vaughn is a poet whose work explores the intersections between the self and the other. Her work is currently being considered for publication in The Potomac Review. She lives and works in Gaithersburg, MD, with her family and two dogs.